Something I’ve Meant to Get Off My Chest

I’m sorry, but this issue bothers me every day. I cannot watch new TV shows because of this trend that has spread across current media. I have Netflix, and the only thing I watch is Star Trek. Nothing else grabs my attention.

My mother is more likely to watch something new on Netflix. A movie, a series, anything that tickles her fancy. So whatever she watches, I might watch with her.

I gave up on TV shows when Umbrella Academy season 3 was released. Knowing what I know, (and it’s stuff you yourself would not understand), season 3 SHOULD NOT have been written the way it was. It’s juvenile and amateur, and I hated everything about it. I gave up TV because of the characterisation of not only Alison, but also Luther and Five.

But this is not about Umbrella Academy season 3 - this is about a much wider spread issue in the screenwriting industry.

Let’s set the scene. When we watch a new show, the main character does something selfish and problematic. Let’s say what they did was queerphobic. They get alone time with a queer character. The queer character says: “Don’t you realise what you did was homophobic and harmful to me?”

Did you catch it? Have you heard something like this before? Here comes the fucking airplane??? Eat up and you’ll grow big and strong???

I know screenwriters have a time constraint, but there is a better way to convey a message than telling us straight up what the main character has done wrong, instead of the secondary character reacting naturally to the event at hand.

This is not immersive. Actually, it takes the reader out of the story, and it’s downright patronising. This is what I like to call spoonfeeding.

I see it in EVERYTHING I have watched since Toy Story 3. Our friend the Allegory has been usurped by Mediocrity and its queen, Blatancy.

We’re supposed to be showing, not telling - that is Writing 101. But we’re so obvious in our agenda that we forget we’re in another world that reflects reality, not points directly to it.

The other problem is this Blatancy can be so easy to fix, if we truly looked at what we were feeding our audience, and seasoned it to make sure it tastes good.

Let’s return to the queer person vs their homophobic friend. Instead of Blatant pointing, hit the character where it hurts - get personal.

“Do you care for me? Obviously you don’t. What you said hurts me, and you’re not backing down? I really thought we had something special. Sorry. Call me when you mean it.”

Sounds different, doesn’t it. We’re here to watch the characters grow, not turn to the camera and narrate in the middle of their scene. That’s the end of my rant; cue the outro music.

So hold me in your arms, don’t let me go, I want to stay forever…